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Author: alunparry (page 1 of 6)

What Is Solution Focused Therapy – And Why It Works

In my therapy practice, I use a number of approaches. But my bedrock is Solution Focused Therapy. In this article I break down the philosophy and approach of Solution Focused Therapy so you can understand the ideas behind it, and why it is so effective.

What If The Change You Need Isn’t About You?

When people come for therapy, they usually want one of two things: support or change.

Support while they travel through one of life’s inevitable sticky patches.

Change to bring about some transformation in life. This post is about change.

Often, when people think about change and therapy, we think it is the person who needs to change.

50 Powerful Songs To Transform Your State Of Mind

We’ve all witnessed this scene. We are at a party or family function. There’s a DJ. The music is too loud to talk. The tables are those huge, round ones that mean nobody is close enough to connect. A lot of people look bored and flat.

And then the DJ puts a new song on.

Is Shame Stopping You From Enforcing Your Boundaries?

When Brene Brown studied people, she found something strange.

The nice people who accommodate everybody else were not nice at all. They were seething with resentment.

They seem nice. No matter what you ask, they’ll do it. Any change to agreed plans, they’ll accept it. Any extra mile you ask them to go, and they’ll go there.

How To Heal Your Trauma Without It Being A Fresh Ordeal

You don’t have to go back into painful memories to feel better. This is one of the ways my approach steps out of the mainstream. Therapy should not be an ordeal.

Yet when I explain this, people often express doubt.

“But what about trauma?” they ask. “Surely you have to go back and heal it?”

3 Simple Ways To Improve Your Mental Wellbeing

In my role as a therapist, I get to watch lots of people feel better about life.

I am able to observe the steps they take and the difference those steps make for them.

Everybody, of course, is different. What works for you won’t necessarily work for me.

5 Powerful Questions To Put You In The Driving Seat Of Your Life

I see many guides around that help you review your year or your life.

Many of them seem self punishing. Many want to invite you to look back and beat yourself up for all the things you didn’t do.

What’s the point of that?

I’d rather use a review that celebrates progress, and connects to your hopes going forward.

What Is The 5×5 Approach To Enrich Your Couples Relationship?

In this post, I’m going to show you 5 areas of your relationship that you most need to keep track of.

Then I’ll show you the 5 questions that will help you create the relationship you most want in each of those areas.

I call it the 5×5 approach to enriching your couples relationship.

How To Cultivate Your Counter Gremlin To Get The Life You Want

We all have a gremlin. It’s that voice that tells us things that don’t help us. The voice that has us feeling scared or self conscious or silly.

Whenever we least need it, it pops up and starts yabbering.

Let me tell you about mine. As you know, I am a musician in my spare time. The singing psychotherapist, if you like.

What The Famous Psychotherapist Discovered Purely By Chance

She was an acclaimed writer. But she had writer’s block. There was nothing she could do to get her creative mojo back.

Her psychotherapist was a writer too by the name of Irvin Yalom.

So he suggested an exercise for them both, in an attempt to inspire her.

At the end of each session they would each write up an account of it.

How To Reduce Stress And Overwhelm With The Bucket Management Method

My clients teach me things. They’re a smart bunch.

If I did therapy the old fashioned way, I’d likely miss their wisdom. It would all be about clever old me.

The benefit of a collaborative approach like mine is that it makes full use of the smarts you have too.

Why You Are Probably Lost In A Land Of Make Believe

They say that the left brain is for language and logic, and the right brain is for creativity.

That’s a bit simplistic because the left and right brains are connected. They talk with each other.

Unless, of course, you have had split brain surgery.

Some epilepsy sufferers who have severe grand mal seizures undergo split brain surgery. It severs the connection between left brain and right.

2 Key Questions To Get You Feeling Better

Feeling down in the dumps on any given day is something everyone will recognise.

We all wake up sometimes and think “uggggh”.

We all have a bad day from time to time.

Sometimes that bad day happens tomorrow too, and the next day, and the next day.

Now it’s a bad week.

How To Get Moving When You Feel Overwhelmed And Stuck

I’ve been so busy recently that my house cleaning regime had fallen by the wayside.

Sometimes, something has to give.

As things got messier, they also got more overwhelming to face.

I decided that, no matter what, my bathroom floor was getting mopped.

Of course, I knew this wasn’t enough.

Beware Those Who Label You When You Really Want Change

At the heart of therapy is change.

When people come for counselling, they are almost always seeking out some form of change.

They may want a change in their life circumstances. They may want to change their actions. Perhaps they are fine with both, and simply wish to change how they think about them.

How Your Brain Multiplies Your Suffering – And How To Stop It

The aliens had captured Sisko. They were more evolved creatures than us humans.

For instance, they experienced time differently to how we do.

They experienced it simultaneously. Past, present, future – to them, it was all one.

They decided to kill this lesser being, who moved through time in a linear fashion – one moment after another.

How To Have Difficult Conversations That Turn Out Fun

Sometimes, we need to have difficult conversations. Someone is doing something that we don’t like. We need to address it in the hope of making it right.

It’s not easy to do. They’re not called difficult conversations for nothing.

But there is a way of doing it that is more likely to result in getting your needs met without conflict.

A Lizard And A Monkey Walk Into Your Brain – What Happens Next?

It doesn’t matter how old you are. Your brain is 310 million years old.

That’s when lizards first appeared. Give or take 10 million years.

The brain of a lizard isn’t too complex.

It just keeps it alive. All its focus is on survival.

It keeps the lizard breathing. It gets it to seek out food.

What Is The Tragic Bargain You Made With Yourself?

When I begin talking with a new client, I am keen to find out what they want from therapy.

This is useful for two reasons.

It focuses our minds on how they’d like life to be.

It also tells us when the client is ready to stop coming. Without knowing what they want, we could keep meeting forever.

Ringo Starr And Your Powerful Lies About You

The Beatles were in the middle of recording what many regard as their finest album – The White Album.

It’s my favourite Beatles album. More than that, my favourite record full stop.

But Ringo Starr, their happy-go-lucky drummer, couldn’t take it any more.

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