Are You A Child Of Domestic Violence?

When you were little, your home felt unsafe and frightening. Violence wasn't a one-off. The threat was always there. There was either violence, or waiting for violence.


You were a child, so there's no way you could have stopped it. But that doesn't stop you feeling guilty and resentful, even now.


It impacts you to this day. You can feel down or anxious. Situations that feel safe for others don't feel safe for you.


On Guard


You'd love to bring people closer. But you notice that you keep them at arms length. Your guard is up, understandably. But it means you can often feel lonely and isolated.


Your need for safety and to protect yourself from danger can get in the way of a fulfilling life. Especially if mixed with low self worth.


Even when things are going well, you expect the good times to be taken away again - just like when you were little.


Relationships


It affects relationships, because you find it hard to relax and have faith that they'll last. You are always waiting for it to come crashing down, or to be rejected all of a sudden.


Things hurt your heart more than most. You feel sensitive to harsh words and put downs.


Perhaps you tend to put yourself second too. You're used to the needs of others being more important than your own. So you don't push for what you need.


Then you miss out once more, and you feel hurt and resentful all over again.


You want to matter


You want to get your needs met at last. You want to feel safe and be happy. You want the past to stop messing with your adult life.


You have carried this for so long. You deserve for this to change. But talking to others is hard. Unless they went through it too, they can't fully understand. And part of you feels ashamed somehow.


You feel scared that the pain runs too deep for you. You're worried that you're "too damaged." You fear that there's no hope for you. That this pain is what you're stuck with. That there's just too much to be healed.


Healing


Even the prospect of healing is scary.


If it involves going back there, it's too much. It was bad enough living through it once. You can't face going through it again in a supposed "therapy" session. How would that be therapeutic?


So you feel stuck, despite your best efforts. You want to put this burden down and move on without it. But you wonder if that's even possible.


Let me reassure you


I understand what you're going through because I've been there too.


You're not alone with these feelings. 1 in 7 adults lived with domestic violence as children, just like you did. Your feelings are completely normal given what you experienced at such a young age. 


And here's the good news


If you lived with domestic violence when you were young, you no longer have to live with the effects of it today.


I know there are many proven ways to help you heal and reshape your life, without medication and without reliving past traumas. There is a different way to heal. That's what I specialise in.


You are powerful


You really are. More so than most. You have developed amazing gifts and superpowers that helped you survive that environment. Any little child who overcame what you did is a hero.


You don't have to do this on your own


I'd like to help you unlock that heroism to lead the life that you want, free of the impact of the past.


Give me a call or text - or click the button below to book your first session.

Call or text on 07889 787306

Services

Face To Face

I offer one to one counselling in person at my therapy rooms in Liverpool City Centre.


The rooms are very comfortable and relaxing.


Sessions last for 55 minutes.

Online

Do you live some distance from my therapy rooms? Are you nearby but travelling isn't a good option for you?


I offer one to one online video counselling using Skype.


Sessions last for 55 minutes.

FAQ

Are you going to take me into the depths of childhood trauma?


No. Absolutely not. But you're right to worry about this. Many therapists do believe that it's essential to delve deep into childhood. 


I don't work that way. I've long held the view that healing is possible without that. In many cases, going into past trauma actually makes people even more upset, and can cause damage.


Of course, if you want to share something from the past, you can. And I'll give you the time and attention you need. Sometimes we need to get things off our chest. You're free to do that.


That aside, I'll be staying in the present and helping you build the future that you want.


So therapy won't be traumatic and upsetting then?


No. Sometimes feelings can come up. And it's a safe place for that. But in the main, my clients find that therapy with me is uplifting and enjoyable. It sounds strange, but there's far more smiles and laughter than tears.


My expectation is that you'll find counselling with me exciting not upsetting. 


But does that get results?


Yes. It's very effective. There's been lots of clinical studies into the approach I use. Not only has it been shown to be effective, but is usually faster too.


Will you be telling me to take anti depressants?


No. We'll be doing "talking therapy." We'll have conversations that I hope will turn out to be so useful for you that your life changes for the better. 


Will you be analysing what's wrong with me as a person?


Yikes no. We'll be using what's right with you to make change in your life. You already have amazing personal qualities, and strategies that have worked for you in the past. You've gotten this far after all. There will be things you want to change of course, but I start from the standpoint that you're already pretty incredible. So we'll start there. That's a far more useful approach, and more effective too. 


Will you be telling me that I'm going mad?


No. People often fear they are going mad when things begin to feel too much. What you're experiencing is almost certainly very normal given what you've been through. 


Will you be telling me what to do and checking up that I've done it?


No. If I did, it wouldn't help you that much. The idea of "one size fits all" therapy may still be practised, but I don't believe in it. You're an individual. What works for some won't work for you, and vice versa. You need something tailor made to who you are. We'll figure that out together - and what we come up with will be much more likely to get results for you.


What's the first step to get started?


Give me a call or send a text to book your first session. Then we can meet up either at my therapy rooms or on Skype (an internet video platform). Once we've met you'll know if I'm someone you'd like to keep working with.

 

My number is 07889 787306 or you can email me at [email protected]


Or you can click the button below to book your first session straight away.


Call or text on 07889 787306

About Al

When I was a child I witnessed my parents be attacked. It left me with some difficulties that stayed with me into adult life.


Eventually, I decided it would be useful to get some therapy. It helped me enjoy life more and make the changes I needed to.


I decided to train to be a therapist myself so I could help others in the same way.


Before I was a therapist, I was a professional musician and songwriter. I still perform and make records in my spare time. 


Friends would say I'm approachable and easy to talk to, and that I love to be with people.


I've the best job in the world, helping people during difficult times to come out the other side. I'd like to meet you and see how I can help.


Book Your Session

If you think I might be the counsellor for you, let's meet for your first session.

Once we've met you'll have a better idea if I'm someone you'd like to keep working with.


Click the button below to book your first session

Call or text on 07889 787306

CONTACT ME

Let's get started. It's easy to reach me.


Call me on 07889 787306

Send me a text on 07889 787306

Send me an email on [email protected]


Or click the button below to book your session automatically.


I look forward to helping you.

Call or text on 07889 787 306

Alun is in advanced clinical training with a clinical endorsement to practice. He is a member of the UK Association for Solution Focused Practice (UKASFP) and serves as a board member on its national committee. He is a student member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). He is a Fellow of the School for Social Entrepreneurs.