How To Create Systems That Give You The Life You Desire

How to create systems that give you the life you desire
I was unconscious last night. So were you. It’s called sleeping. Yet look at us. We’ve woken up alive somehow. We kept breathing. Our hearts kept beating. We are a triumph of systems that operate with perfection. They work so well, they don’t even need our attention.

I got up and flicked the light switch. The lights came on. Wow!

I pressed the power button on the shower. Water came out. Not just any water. The water at the temperature I like.

I went downstairs and ate breakfast. My digestive system kicked in.

Everywhere there are systems working perfectly. Even now, as I type this, each key on my keyboard produces the right letter. It’s amazing!

I have systems in my own life too. It’s just that I don’t often see it that way. But they’re there. And I built them.

When I was a teenager, the only way I could get out of bed on time for school was to be up for the Popeye cartoon on TV. That was my system. Miss Popeye, and I’d miss the bus.

Some might say I was too old for cartoons. Let me tell you, I will never be too old for cartoons.

We are all engineers of perfect systems. Some of those perfect systems may not produce a result that we want. But they are perfect systems nonetheless. They produce that result perfectly.



I’m about 30 pounds heavier than I’d prefer to be. So it seems I have a system for being 30 pounds heavier. And it works like a charm!

(To be fair, I once had a system for being 90 pounds heavier than I’d prefer to be. So I like my current system better.)

What do you have perfect systems for?

Are you lonely? Then you have a loneliness system and it is working great.

Are you stressed out? Then you have a perfect stress generation system.

Are you sad? Then you have a sadness system. And it’s flawless!

We are, each of us, a genius. We are engineers worthy of the Nobel Prize. Look at these systems we have fashioned that keep producing the same result.

That’s a whole business model right there. That’s McDonalds. McDonalds don’t sell burgers. They are a franchise business that sells a system for making burgers.

Now we know how skilled we are at building systems, all we need is some systems analysis. Then we can build systems to give us any result we want.

Easier still, we can find people who have the result we want. They already have a system for that. Ask them what it is and steal it.

I spoke to two men yesterday who have a system for being the weight I’d like to be. Two men isn’t the biggest data sample, but it’s a start.

Both of them eat healthy meals. Both of them work out three times a week. Neither of them snack on chocolate and sweets. Both of them eat often, whether that be fruit or a mini meal. But always real food rather than snacks.

One of them eats some kind of meal at 9am, 12 noon, 3.30pm, 6.30pm then again at 9.30. No wonder he doesn’t snack. He’s too busy eating. When he’s peckish he has a small meal. That’s a good system. I’m stealing that.

Already I can see the similarities in their systems. I could put those in the system I build too.

Even if I’m too shy to ask about someone else’s system, I can look at my current system and debug it. I can assess which parts of my system make it a system for being too heavy. Is it the vegetables and the pulses? Or is it the chocolate bars? Sorry Al, it’s probably the chocolate bars.

What are your perfect systems that give a result you don’t want?

Is your house cluttered? Are you less fit than you want? Do you have fewer close friendships than you’d like? Break down the system you have that produces that.

What do you do? What beliefs do you have? And what about people who get the result you want? How do they act? What do they believe?

You’re a systems analyst now. You’re an engineer. A genius one too. You’re totally proven.

It’s in your power to hack your systems to create new ones. Once you have a system for getting the result you do want, it will work just as flawlessly as your current one.

That’s what systems do.

Feedback! Hey, I love hearing back from you. So put something in the comments below. What results are you getting from your current systems? Wanted or unwanted. And how might you tweak them? Let me know. It’s more fun to hear back from you than not. I’ll reply to every one!

Alun Parry is Director of The Liverpool Psychotherapy Practice


4 thoughts on “How To Create Systems That Give You The Life You Desire”

  1. This is such a good and unusual way of looking at things.

    I have two excellent systems currently running: one for being overweight and one fit living surrounded by clutter. Now I can think about how they work and hopefully rewrite or at least tinker with them !

    1. Yes, when I first realised it, I was blown away by it. I really like the idea that I’ve created something that works perfectly. I feel empowered by that. Also, I like the distance it generates. I’m not in a place where I beat myself up. I’m simply analysing a system and building a new one.

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