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I want to let you in on something. There’s a lot of score draws in therapy.

This approach works, but only as much as that approach.

This philosophy works, but only as much as that one.

This technique works, but only as much as that technique.

Forty years of research says so.

This is liberating for those seeking therapy and counselling.

It means that you can have it exactly how you want it. You don’t need to worry that what suits you doesn’t work. Or works less well.

Pretty much everything works as well as each other.

For instance, I know people who want help, but can’t face delving into the past.

Well that’s okay. Because this works as well as that. So have it how you want. You don’t need to compromise.

There are some psychotherapy approaches I don’t like at all. Not because they don’t work. But because they don’t strike me as respectful, benign or focused on your many strengths.

When everything works as well as each other, it makes other choices possible.

It means we can make a value of things like respect and mutuality. We can choose to apply different standards to therapy other that what works best.

As the person seeking therapy, you too can ask different questions. Instead of “what method works best?” you can ask “what methods respect me best?”

When everything delivers the same result, you can focus on the experience rather than the outcome.

There is no need to accept a process that you don’t like, on the promise that it works better. It doesn’t.

You don’t have to accept other people’s labels. You don’t have to permit someone else to write your story. You don’t have to go into traumatic past events if you don’t want to.

Therapy needn’t be an ordeal. And it shouldn’t be an indignity.

Get the therapy you want, exactly how you want it. Know that it will work at least as well as any other, and go with whatever fits you best.

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