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Why You Are Probably Lost In A Land Of Make Believe


They say that the left brain is for language and logic, and the right brain is for creativity.

That’s a bit simplistic because the left and right brains are connected. They talk with each other.

Unless, of course, you have had split brain surgery.

2 Key Questions To Get You Feeling Better


Feeling down in the dumps on any given day is something everyone will recognise.

We all wake up sometimes and think “uggggh”.

We all have a bad day from time to time.

Sometimes that bad day happens tomorrow too, and the next day, and the next day.

Now it’s a bad week.

How To Get Moving When You Feel Overwhelmed And Stuck


I’ve been so busy recently that my house cleaning regime had fallen by the wayside.

Sometimes, something has to give.

As things got messier, they also got more overwhelming to face.

I decided that, no matter what, my bathroom floor was getting mopped.

Of course, I knew this wasn’t enough.

Beware Those Who Label You When You Really Want Change


At the heart of therapy is change.

When people come for counselling, they are almost always seeking out some form of change.

They may want a change in their life circumstances. They may want to change their actions. Perhaps they are fine with both, and simply wish to change how they think about them.

How Your Brain Multiplies Your Suffering – And How To Stop It


The aliens had captured Sisko. They were more evolved creatures than us humans.

For instance, they experienced time differently to how we do.

They experienced it simultaneously. Past, present, future – to them, it was all one.

They decided to kill this lesser being, who moved through time in a linear fashion – one moment after another.

How To Have Difficult Conversations That Turn Out Fun


Sometimes, we need to have difficult conversations. Someone is doing something that we don’t like. We need to address it in the hope of making it right.

It’s not easy to do. They’re not called difficult conversations for nothing.

But there is a way of doing it that is more likely to result in getting your needs met without conflict.

A Lizard And A Monkey Walk Into Your Brain – What Happens Next?


It doesn’t matter how old you are. Your brain is 310 million years old.

That’s when lizards first appeared. Give or take 10 million years.

The brain of a lizard isn’t too complex.

It just keeps it alive. All its focus is on survival.

It keeps the lizard breathing. It gets it to seek out food.

What Is The Tragic Bargain You Made With Yourself?


When I begin talking with a new client, I am keen to find out what they want from therapy.

This is useful for two reasons.

It focuses our minds on how they’d like life to be.

It also tells us when the client is ready to stop coming. Without knowing what they want, we could keep meeting forever.

Ringo Starr And Your Powerful Lies About You


The Beatles were in the middle of recording what many regard as their finest album – The White Album.

It’s my favourite Beatles album. More than that, my favourite record full stop.

But Ringo Starr, their happy-go-lucky drummer, couldn’t take it any more.

Placebo And The Remarkable Power Of You


Here’s something weird.

Give someone a normal milkshake, but tell them that it’s a diet drink, and their gut behaves as if the drink is low fat. Even though it’s full fat.

Here’s something even more weird.

A patient wakes up from knee surgery. The doctor say that they’ve done the operation. The knee gets better even though the doctor only made an incision in the skin.

Are You Missing How Close You Are To What You Want?


Human beings love stories.

We have been telling them for millions of years.

In prehistoric times, sitting around a fire telling stories was our Netflix.

Stories allow us to learn from new experiences without having to go through them.

As they unfold, we ask ourselves what we would do to overcome this.

Are You Living Your Life In Falsetto?


I remembered recently that, when I was a little boy, I asked for a typewriter as my Christmas present.

I was very young. I don’t think I’d hit the age of ten yet.

Looking back, it seems an unusual gift request from a small child.

But I always enjoyed writing.

What If The Answer Isn’t Where You Expect It To Be?


When the handle on my living room door stopped working, it was very frustrating.

I’d try to turn it but it wouldn’t shift.

I was locked out of my own living room.

I called a handyman.

When he arrived I told him what was wrong. When I turn the handle, nothing happens.

Why The Way We Think Of Problems Is Wrong


There are different ways of talking about problems.

We can talk of ourselves as having a problem. We hear this a lot.

“Jean has a problem.” “Neil has a problem.” “Arnold has a lot of problems.”

Or we can talk of wrestling with a problem.

“I’m wrestling with this problem at the moment.”

How To Build A Shopping List For A Better Life


When I go shopping, I always have a shopping list. Quaint, I know.

Yet I store it on my phone, which is arguably cooler. Possibly not.

People sometimes think I’m dawdling in the aisle texing a friend, and get cross.

But I’m not. I’m checking my shopping list. Which is valid during a shopping trip.

The Story Of What Happens When You Fall Down A Hole


One day, you fall into a deep hole, many feet down.

You call for help. Thankfully, someone appears.

Even better, it turns out that his job is to get people out of holes.

“What shall I do?” you ask.

“Never mind that”, he says. “Look at the hole.”

“Look at the hole?” you ask.

How To Supercharge Your Future By Taking The Credit


We have good days and bad days. Or at least bad days and less bad days.

I’m always curious about the times when things are a little better.

I want to discover what we did to make things a little better.

Sometimes, people tell me that they’ve been down all week, but feel better today.

Why Your Doubts Prove That You Are Amazing


If I aim too high, or have too ambitious a thought, a voice inside me often scoffs: “Ha! Who the hell are you to do that?”

The result is that I’m often guilty of not aiming high enough. I can rule myself out of things. Even though the facts tell me I’m more than able.

How To Find Out Who You Really Are


Every day we choose to do things.

Even when it seems like we have to do them, we usually choose to. We are selecting this activity over that consequence.

We choose many other activities freely, just because we want to do them.

From time to time, situations arise that result in us feeling agitated and cross.

Does It Matter What Your Therapist Thinks Of You?


I was sat opposite the therapist. I started to tell him my stuff.

Ten seconds in, I noticed his eyes harden. It was subtle, but it was there.

He looked disinterested. I spotted a flash of contempt.

I paused and stuttered. I had to look away just to carry on. I didn’t much want to carry on at all.

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